A toweringly tall and powerful Raktamite (the first Level 37 Warrior on Shartak), Umslopagaas is one of the Island's sworn Guardians, a mighty Hunter and a Kraken slayer twice over.
He is also a great Wanderer and has explored every part of Shartak, its caves and tunnels, its mountain paths and summit, and its surrounding islands and seas (one of only eleven to have done so).

For his great deeds, the eternal Queen of Greater Raktam, Blue Hummingbird, named the Raktam province of Umslopagaasia after him.

Around his neck, he wears a wild boar tusk necklace given to him by Blue Hummingbird's successor, King Sofaking.

Around his waist, as a warning, he wears the severed heads of various Outsider mass-murderers including those of De La Coiffe (slain twice), Bahl (slain five times), A giant parakeet, Paul Bunyun (also slain twice), Noir Rouge (also twice), George W. Bush, Dick Cheney, Global Warming, Stan666, The Law and Calzone Machitty, their eyes pecked out by carrion...
His only native kills are the traitors and murderers, "Not Blue Hummingbird" (four times), "Black Plague", "A foul Pker" and "Witch of Endor" (six times), and "Golem of Prague".

He is quick to laughter, but equally quick to anger...

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Re: The Reign of SofaKing, King of Greater Raktam
November 07, 2008, 07:32:28 PM

"The long awaited GSUC invasion of Raktam has begun.

The King would like to present his people with the heads of the GSUC leadership, Bahl and De La Coiffe, both of whom were killed in the opening stages of this conflict by the legendary Umslopagaas. The King honors this great feat of arms. Further honor goes to Umslopagaas for also making the first kill of the war, when he slew a giant parakeet that the GSUC somehow pressed into service. The skygods truly blessed Raktam with one of the finest warriors."

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Dysentery says �Dysentery looks at Umslopagaas sternly, "You preach awfully much for the biggest hypocrite on the island." Save your sanctimonious banter for people who actually give a shit."”
Umslopagaas laughs, "Why waste time preaching to the converted? The people who already "give a shit" (to use your eloquent language) don't need to be persuaded of the evil stupidity of their ways!"
Umslopagaas says “Although I suppose in a way we should thank you and your kind, because without your endless, pointless, mindless, boring slaughter, the Ancestors might never have opened up this Sacred Space to us!”
Dysentery says “You talk awfully big game for someone who calls being PKed even once griefing. Though I suppose I shouldn't expect any less from an egotistical lackwit. Have fun exploring, Umsloppafag.”
SillyLilyPily laughs as she watches Dysentery walk to his certain death through the arch. Or that he has tucked his trousers into his pants and a long trail of toilet paper trails from the heel of his shoe.
Umslopagaas roars with laughter, "That's really the best he can come up with? 'Umsloppafag'?! And he calls *me* a lackwit?! Enough said I think! Ah my friends, he really is too much of a buffoon!"

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